$1 DVD Machine: #1 Cheerleader Camp
June 8, 2011, 10:52 pm
Filed under: $1 DVD Machine

I know its been awhile, but I’ve been extra lazy. Too lazy to blog bro. But don’t you worry Joshua, I’m about to totally redeem myself. From the geniuses that brought you such cult hits as Transmorphers and Snakes on a Train, comes #1 Cheerleader Camp. The story of a washed up gymnast who takes a job as a janitor at a summer cheerleading camp in the hopes of forgetting his past, while unsuspectingly regaining his form through leading the cheer camp duds to victory all the while falling love. Asylum Productions is one of my new favorite things. They purposely produce low-budget films that go straight to DVD. Much classier than all the film school hacks who spend thousands of on their parents dollars on artsy shorts which don’t even make the cut at the makeshift festival they throw in Park City during Sundance. Yes, these folks purposely make shit, and they do it well.

The introduction to the film starts with a bunch of naked chicks jumping on a trampoline with their fake boobies flopping all over the place. At first, as a connoisseur, a part of your wants to be offended. But, it is so gratuitous that you are forced to embrace it, and simply allow yourself to enjoy the moment. This shit is strictly for the bros and the highly evolved. The acting is surprisingly not that bad. Definitely, easing its way into the “so bad, its good” category. This film is a true test of friendship. After viewing, if you “get it” then recommend it to your friends. (It’s on Netflix Instant Watch by the way) I recommended #1 Cheerleader Camp to a buddy of mine, a guy who paid for me to watch such classics as Dude Where’s My Car and How High 10 years ago. Originally I refused, but he insisted, “I’ll pay! I can’t go in there alone and buy one ticket,” he pleaded. So I entertained him and in turn entertained myself. And I’ll tell you this, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. He said he didn’t like it. Long story short, he also said that he slept through most of it. “Everytime I woke up the guy was bating?” Hey, man if you wanna sleep through half of Dark Side of the Moon and miss out on all the conceptual auidible bliss go right ahead my man. Don’t knock it till you try it. Enter with an open mind and open heart.

I possess the rare ability to enjoy, no appreciate, a wide variety of media. I’ve taken film theory classes, sat in long discussions on the symbolism and mes en scene of Breathless, Bicycle Thief, Potemkin, The Shinning, Raging Bull etc. I get it. Here is some cake, it’s gluten free, made with natural sweeteners, applesauce, honey, have it, and eat it, it’s delicious. What I’m talking about is the American Dream. So, if you are up for the challenge. Take your serious pants off (and jacket), and watch a completed retarded and hilarious film and allow yourself to celebrate 2 millions years of human evolution. Idiocracy, that shit is already happening.

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